Measure 3 cups flour into bowl; answer doorbell. Take bowl off small son's head; sweep up flour. Wash flour from son's hands, face and head.

Measure 3 cups flour into bowl, add shortening. Change baby's diaper. Pick up the mixture bowl off the kitchen floor, which small son is feeding to dog. Get a clean bowl. Add another 1/4 cup shortening to 3 more cups flour, mix well.

Put son in tub and scrub well. Rock crying baby for 10 minutes. Scrape flour and shortening mixture from floor which dog has tracked all over, adding enough tears to relieve tension. Answer the telephone.

Open 1 can of beans and serve with remaining strength!